In a Modern Verse version, we present -
the Wife of Bath's Tale *
the Merchant's Tale *
the Miller's Tale *
the Reeve's Tale *
the Pardoner's Tale *
the Nun's Priest's Tale
Set in the beautiful grounds of Ridgeway School, with a marquee in case of bad weather, we also offer a pre-theatre home-made two course supper with a licensed bar and coffee, soft drinks and cakes at the interval. The marquee and grounds are open from 6.00pm for supper and drinks, or bring a picnic.
A fun loving woman tells the tale of a young man who “took the maidenhead” of a young girl.
As punishment he was going to be beheaded but the queen took pity on him and said he’d be spared
if he could tell her what it was in the world that women most desire. He has one year and one day to find the answer.
On his travels he meets an old woman who says she’ll give him the answer provided that he promises
to do whatever she asks of him. He readily agrees and goes back to the court with the answer.
His life spared the old woman then demands that she become his wife and reluctantly they go to bed.
He keeps as far away from her as possible as long as possible but she keeps dragging him towards her.
Then she admonishes him for being so churlish and going back on his word; he reluctantly agrees that
she has mastery over him and can do with him as she wishes and she turns into a beautiful young woman.
Merchant
Story of an old man who takes a young wife. A young squire at the wedding feast takes a fancy to the wife
and write her a letter of lust. He pretends to be ill and she goes to administer to him – whilst there
he slips the letter to her. They keep lustfully glancing at each other from afar. Suddenly the old man
is blinded and gets very jealous of his bride and keeps contact with her day and night. His main joy is
walking in a walled garden. One day the squire is hidden up in a tree and the young wife climbs the tree
to pick the pears. She and the squire begin “the nooky” when suddenly the old man’s sight is restored.
He is naturally annoyed at what he sees, the wife argues that his mind is playing tricks with him and she
is still pure as the driven snow and it all ends with the two youngsters bonking away and the old man
rubbing his eyes in disbelief!
Nun’s Priest’s Tale
Story of a cock called Chanticleer, a hen called Pertelote and a fox. The cunning fox is outwitted by the
confident cock and he ends up with the bird in the end! Lots of opportunity for other farmyard animals.
Miller
A carpenter (or Reeve) and his new wife take in a lodger, a lusty young man who starts making advances to
the wife. She warns of her husband’s jealousy but the lodger has a cunning plan! Into the tale comes a
parish clerk who also lusted after the young wife and start to serenade her nightly and send her gifts.
She however is in love with the lodger. One day the lodger tells the wife to say she’s not seen him all day.
The carpenter goes to the lodger’s room and he tells a woeful tale that another flood will descend just like
the one when Noah and the Ark. The carpenter then agrees to make boats for the three of them. They climb
into their own boats and eventually the carpenter falls asleep – which is the youngster’s cue to go downstairs
and commence “the nooky”. They fall asleep exhausted at dawn.
Along comes the priest thinking the carpenter is away and calls for the wife. He asks for a kiss and the wife
and lodger play a trick. She agrees to let the priest kiss her; throws open the window and ticks her bare ar*e
out to be kissed! This results in screams of disgust from the priest after planting a smacking kiss on her behind
and much laughter from the other two. He then reaps his revenge by getting a branding iron and calling again for
a kiss. The lodger now stick his bum out of the window, the branding iron is used and the lodger now has an
involuntary tattoo on his bum and loud screams of pain. The carpenter wakes up, hears the shouting and cuts
the ropes holding his boat and falls down. The townsfolk hear the commotion, they are told the carpenter is mad;
he is taken away and the two lovers live happily ever after …
Reeve’s Tale
This is a revenge tale for the previous one. This tells of a miller who was cheating a college and how two
students go to see if they can get retribution for his actions. They try to steal some flour but their horse
runs away. They then ask the miller if they can stay the night. He agrees but they will have to share a bed.
Upstairs there is the miller and his wife in one bed; their buxom daughter in another and the two students in
the thirds. The miller’s bed is distinguished by a baby’s cradle at the foot of the bed. In the wee small
hours one of the students gets into bed with the daughter for “the nooky” the other chap is rather upset
but when the miler’s wife gets out for a wee he moves the cradle to the bottom of his bed. The wife gets
into bed with him and they indulge in “the nooky”. As dawn breaks the first student gets from the daughter’s
bed, notices the cradle and gets into the other bed – containing the miller. The student boasts to his ‘companion’
of his night-time exploits with the daughter only to find he’s in bed with the miller. All hell breaks loose
and the students eventually escape – with the sack of flour.
Pardoner’s Tale
Three roistering students find an old man and ask his where they can find Death as they’ve decided to kill him!
He points them up the road. They find a tree with a pile of gold coins underneath.
They decide to celebrate and draw lots for one to go back to the tavern for food and drink whilst the other
two guard the loot. The two decide that when their companion returns they will kill him and split the loot two ways.
He in the meantime puts poison in the food and drink so he’ll get the lot. He gets killed, they celebrate with the
food and drink and the end result, the three of them meet Death!!
At Ridgeway
Adults £9, £8 Concessions, £8 Supper
Concessions available. For more details contact the Box Office on 01628 635017
Modified 15 July 2002